I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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