Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
