Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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