Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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