I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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