My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
