she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
