ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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