There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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