Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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