So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize