Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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