But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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