I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
