drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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