I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Randomize
