a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
