i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Hippo gnu deer
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
