oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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