What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
