The maid of honor just puked.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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