we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Randomize
