fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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