Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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