is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
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