Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
