I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
