After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
