Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
