i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
