I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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