end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
