You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
