Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
