No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
