I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
