how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I understand Curling. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize