he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
