I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
