that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
