would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
we made out on top of his cat.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
