Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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