I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
