all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
