At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
