um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
