I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
