how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Your penis caused this!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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