dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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