I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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