if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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