Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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