My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
