I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
