Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
