just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Your cock deserves a montage
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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