eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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