and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
This is my gift to your gina
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
