New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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