You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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