We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
