I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
