Screwed.edu
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i just google imaged poop.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Can you bring me the toilet please
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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